Man, today is the WORST day for me to have to type with my new nails (a part of a very sweet Valentine's Day gift from my sweetheart) because I have to slow down my typing. I got the head's up from Pat to check the local paper yesterday to read about a janitor that hit a kid in the school district. I got distracted and didn't get to read it until a few minutes ago. Reading it made my fingers itch, so let's get to it!
Kid helps clean cafeteria. Kid is being smartass and throws damp rag at janitor. Janitor is 5 foot 2 inches tall. Most kids in that school are taller. Janitor goes to kid's class and smacks him around in front of everyone. Teacher tells class to stay seated. Other students break up fight as teacher stands by watching. Little janitor is hauled away the next day by police. That's the general breakdown of all the players In the story and the nominees for BIGGEST FUCKING LOSER 2011!
At my old elementary school, some things never change. Kids are disrespectful little bastards and the favorite target to direct their torment to that goes unpunished will always be the janitor. The janitor is an adult, but one that has very little authority in the school and is given the thankless task of cleaning up after rude little shits all day long. Most are not very attractive and they usually are pretty quiet. A perfect target for loser bullies-in-training. They put up with shit that would get a kid knocked out if they did it to their parents. And they do all this to get paid next to nothing. Sometimes, psychos get past the district diligent screening process, a background check to see if you ever tossed a kid against a wall or committed grand larceny. Forget covering important things like, "Do you understand that you can't actually beat the hell out of a little prick if they disrespect you?" or " You are in no position to discipline a child with playground style justice."
No need to cover topics like that with a man small enough to stand eye to eye with my 10 year old. Clearly this is a man who has never found his height to be an issue and he probably has found that being small takes him so far in life that becoming a school janitor is a daily celebration for him. What we need to do is make sure that someone like this is placed in direct contact with arrogant little fuckers who have never been taught by their parents to respect adults, no matter their size or occupation. That will show that we value our lovely tiny cleaner and we're responsible educators! What could go wrong? This is a well thought out plan complete with a responsible teacher who would dive in front of a student to protect them from an attack by an obviously deranged adult.
Wait…what was that last part? She did run to her student's aid and protect him from an adult beating his ass in her classroom, right? I mean, only a completely incompetent, fucking worthless, lump of dog shit would stand by and let a child get smacked around by an adult that wasn't in any way related to the child as her entire class witnesses it. And our district only hires the very best educators that minimum wage has to offer! They know that we put our children's lives and minds in their hands everyday and they wouldn't hire immature crack heads who sooner scold the class for standing up and reacting to the horrifying act over the mentally deranged leprechaun who decided to be the shillelagh off of her student.
So, who should receive the award? The honor of being the biggest fucking loser 2011 has to offer so far? Let's give a big hand to LaToya Robinson, folks! Yes, she is a shining example of how an educated person who has taken on the dubious task of teaching some of our community's most disrespectful, annoying, vulgar, angering delinquents can still manage to look like cat vomit compared to a tiny Incredible Hulk trying to settle a score with an 11-year old! She is the epitome of dedication and control. By her deciding to tell her class to remain seated, she shows us that the most important thing to do in a crisis like this is to sit back and watch because we all know the police are going to need plenty of witness accounts and it's easier to say what happened if you stand back and view the whole scene. No need to protect the child from assault because we parents have done an amazing job of teaching our children that we protect children from attacks from adults. Students became enraged by the sight before them and selflessly inserted their young bodies into the altercation and moved Mighty Mouse away from his prepubescent punching bag. Here they come to save day! And does Ms. Robinson instantly race to the phone to call the main office to let them know that a lunatic entered her classroom and punched a child? No! She spares the district the hassle of having to report this to the authorities by doing…NOTHING! My heart swells with pride at Ms. Robinson's heroic deeds! She knew she had a job to do and nothing was going to distract her from that. Her job is to continue to teach her class all they need to know to pass the state standard achievement test and nothing more! She is not a bodyguard, she is not a protector of young lives, she is not a hero, she is a teacher, damn it! So on your feet people and raise a finger in salute to LaToya Robinson, Biggest Fucking Loser Of 2011 So Far! Ms. Robinson, this well manicured finger is for you, congratulations!
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