Have you ever noticed how the news has shifted their focus from giving you hard hitting news to covering the weather? Think about it. In the first five minutes of the broadcast you will be given the top stories in abbreviated form and then a sneak peak at the weather. Seriously, we need to be teased with the weather? Meteorologists have become local celebrities and for what? Giving you a peek into the mysterious world of looking out your fucking window and making an educated guess??
Our local news has pumped the weather people up so damn much that they even designed a set around them. Not kidding in the least. If we are having severe weather, then the lights around the set will be red. Otherwise, it'll be shades of blue or green. Thank goodness they decided to color code the weather because I thought that blizzard outside of my window was a figment of my imagination! Have we become so stupid as a country that we can't wait to know what the immediate weather future holds? The only way we could handle waiting patiently through the next fifteen minutes of late breaking news is to be assured that the weather will be coming up shortly and the outlook is calm because the set is calm? Give us a little credit!
What would you think of a teacher who teaches the class that two plus two equals seven? And then goes back and says that they were mistaken and it actually equals three. THEN comes back and says that it actually equals four but the reason that they were incorrect the first two times is because the chalk that they used to write the equation down was a bit too light and it was hard to read it and come up with a conclusive answer? You'd think they were out of their fucking mind, right? When you board a plane, you'd like to think that the pilots with all their instruments are reporting a correct time of arrival, give or take a few minutes. I know I'd be ready to take one of the stingy little airline bricks that they pass off as pillows into the cockpit and smacking them across the head if they were off by about two hours! So if we expect correctness with other professions, why not the weather? If you can't get it right, then stop fucking report it!
Where I live, snow is a full-time news story. Not exaggerating in the least. We had a severe snow storm last year and from six in the morning until about eight that evening, one channel interrupted regularly scheduled programming to report on that which was falling outside of my window. Phew! I'm so glad they told me it was snowing!! I almost put on my fucking shorts and went out for a jog! If they didn't show me shots of people shoveling out cars and children sledding I would have thought that we were in the midst of a damn heat wave! Good job guys! Nothing says we have no idea what real people want to see then dedicating an entire program day to professional news reporters standing outside freezing their overly made up faces off as they invent reasons to be in front of a camera to kill airtime with shots of parked cars covered in snow. I just love when they give us really scientific data by taking a school ruler and shoving it into a pile of snow to show us just how much fell where they were currently standing. But when I watch these reports, I often wonder if the snow that has fallen is the type that would make a good snowball, because if it isn't then I'm going to assume that the white shit piled up in my driveway is dandruff. Thankfully, I don't have to wonder long because at least one reporter on every station will pick up a handful of the mysterious white crap and confirm that it is snow and that it can indeed make a snowball. Crisis averted! Good job guys! You've made the world safe for us idiots once again!
I would love to find out that we as a country join together and demand that these assholes put weather back in their` place! No more will we tolerate meteorologists causing a stampede in the grocery stores because they've predicted the storm of the century only to get a light dusting as they give a weak little laugh and explain why they got it wrong, AGAIN! Or staring out the winding at my quickly disappearing street as I recall yesterday's official forecast that said that the blizzard whipping past my window would only be a sprinkling. If they can't get it right, FIRE THEM!! Or at the very least, put a fucking disclaimer up that says that the best they can do is give an educated guess and when they get it right, it was sheer dumb luck! These gimmick loving weather bitches need to understand that what they do can also be done by fucking LOOKING OUT YOUR FUCKING WINDOW!!! And I can do that without needing a fucking bow tie! Meteorologists, you fucking suck!
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